Should You Travel Without Your Kids? Why I Still Take Trips Without Mine

I love traveling with my kids.

Some of my favourite memories with my boys have happened while we were traveling. We have slept in the desert in Jordan, eaten our way through Japan, watched professional sports in cities across North America and experienced the Serengheti during the Great Migration.

But I also travel without them.

Sometimes it is for work. Sometimes it is a getaway with a friend. And sometimes the trip simply isn’t one that makes sense for my kids to come along on.

For years, so much of family travel is built around what the kids will enjoy. You choose the hotel with the pool. You make sure there is something on the menu they will eat. You plan your day around naps, bedtimes or how long little legs can realistically walk.

As kids get older, travel changes. My teenagers have their own sports, school commitments, friends and things they don’t want to miss at home. And I have realized that not every trip I want to take needs to become a family vacation. I offered both of mine the chance to come to Morocco last year. They took a look at the itinerary and both declined. Ok. I went anyway (with a friend and her teen son).

If you are wondering whether it is okay to travel without your kids, my answer is that there isn’t one right way to do it. But I do think taking the occasional trip without them can be good for parents, and it certainly doesn’t mean you enjoy your family trips any less.

Here’s what I have learned about traveling without my kids.

You Don’t Have to Take Your Kids on Every Trip

When my boys were younger, our vacations were very much family vacations.

If I was planning somewhere new, I was thinking about what they would enjoy. What could we do together? Would they eat the food? Would they be bored? Was there enough downtime?

Now that they are teenagers, that dynamic has changed.

They have strong opinions about where they want to go, which I actually love. Sports can influence where we travel. Surfing, skiing and adventure activities are big draws. Japan is somewhere they would happily return to.

But there are also trips that interest me more than they interest them.

And that’s okay.

I don’t think every destination has to become a negotiation where everyone in the family needs to be equally excited.

Sometimes I travel with one of my boys. Sometimes we travel together as a family. Sometimes I travel with a friend. And sometimes I travel alone.

Different trips fill different buckets.

Traveling Without Your Kids Can Feel Very Different

Traveling with kids, even older kids, means part of your brain is always paying attention to someone else.

Are they hungry?

Are they having fun?

Do they need downtime?

How late can we stay out when we have something planned tomorrow morning?

Traveling without them removes a lot of that mental load.

On a mom getaway, I can spend longer over dinner. I can book a spa treatment without wondering what everyone else is going to do for two hours. I can wander through shops, sit over coffee or spend an afternoon doing something that my kids would probably tolerate rather than enjoy.

That doesn’t make one type of travel better than the other.

They are just completely different experiences.

And I think there is room for both.

Figure Out Childcare Early

For parents of younger children, one of the biggest barriers to traveling without kids is figuring out who is going to look after them.

If you have grandparents or family nearby, you may have a relatively easy solution. Other families rely on a co-parent, trusted friends, regular childcare providers or a combination of different arrangements.

If your children are in daycare, preschool or before-and-after-school care, keeping as much of their normal routine in place as possible can also make things easier.

For example, parents in Wisconsin can look at Greenfield day care options that provide care from infancy through school age. Having regular childcare already established can make the logistics of work trips or short getaways much easier than trying to create an entirely new routine every time you leave.

Whatever your arrangement looks like, figure it out before you start booking flights.

Knowing the kids are somewhere they know, with people you trust, makes it much easier to actually enjoy your time away.

Start With a Short Trip

Your first kid-free trip doesn’t need to be two weeks on the other side of the world.

Start with a weekend.

A two- or three-night getaway close to home gives you the chance to see how everyone handles it without adding the stress of being a long flight away.

It can also be surprisingly restorative.

You don’t necessarily need a huge bucket-list destination. A hotel, a good dinner, a hike, a spa afternoon or simply waking up without immediately being responsible for anyone else’s schedule can make a weekend feel like a real break.

Once you know everyone is comfortable with that, longer trips become easier.

Don’t Overcompensate Before You Leave

There can be a temptation to make everything perfect before leaving your kids.

The fridge needs to be full. Every meal needs to be planned. Every ride needs to be arranged. Everyone needs detailed instructions about everything that could possibly happen while you are gone.

Some preparation is obviously important, particularly with younger children.

But if your kids are safe and being looked after by someone you trust, everything doesn’t need to happen exactly the way it would if you were home.

They might eat different food.

Bedtime might be different.

Their hair might not get brushed quite the way you would do it.

Everyone will survive.

Make sure the important information is available, leave emergency contacts and necessary schedules, and then let the person caring for your kids handle the rest.

Let Your Kids Be Part of the Plan

Especially with younger kids, it can help to tell them what is happening rather than suddenly announcing that you are leaving tomorrow.

Show them where you are going.

Tell them how many sleeps you will be gone.

Talk about who they will be staying with and what they might do while you are away.

Older kids can obviously understand the logistics much more easily. In fact, teenagers may be significantly less concerned about your departure than you expect them to be.

They have their own lives.

Sometimes we are the ones who have a harder time leaving.

Decide How Much You Want to Check In

Technology makes it incredibly easy to stay connected while traveling.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to FaceTime three times a day.

Figure out what works for your family.

With little kids, a quick video call before bed might be reassuring. Older kids may be perfectly happy sending a couple of texts and getting on with whatever they are doing.

I like knowing I can reach my kids and they can reach me, but I also don’t think the point of traveling without them is to spend the entire trip looking at your phone.

Check in. Make sure everyone is good. Then go enjoy where you are.

Take the Trip That You Want to Take

One of the best things about traveling without kids is being able to build the trip entirely around what you want to do.

Maybe that means a wellness weekend.

Maybe you want amazing restaurants and cocktails without worrying about whether there is anything your kids will eat.

Maybe you want to hike all day.

Maybe you want to lie beside a pool and read a book.

Or maybe there is a destination you’ve always wanted to visit that simply doesn’t interest the rest of your family.

You don’t need to turn it into the perfect family itinerary.

That’s the point.

Traveling Without Your Kids Can Make Family Travel Better Too

I don’t think traveling without my kids takes anything away from the trips I take with them.

If anything, I appreciate those trips differently.

As my boys get older, I am very aware that the number of years where I can simply announce that we’re going somewhere together is getting smaller.

School gets more complicated. Sports matter more. Eventually there will be university, jobs, partners and their own travel plans.

That makes the trips we choose to take together feel even more important.

But it also means I don’t need to squeeze every place I want to see into the remaining years when my kids live at home.

There are destinations I want to experience with them.

And there are places I am perfectly happy to explore without them.

Should You Travel Without Your Kids?

Only you can answer that.

Some parents have no interest in taking a vacation without their children. Others desperately need a few days away. Most of us probably fall somewhere in between.

You also don’t have to travel far or leave for a long time for it to count.

A weekend with friends, a wellness getaway, a couple’s trip or a few days exploring somewhere on your own can give you space to do things at your own pace.

Then you come home.

The kids tell you approximately three words about everything that happened while you were gone.

Someone has eaten the snacks you were saving.

There is probably laundry waiting.

And normal life starts again.

Until the next trip.